When I ask my clients and friends what their main health concern is, the most common response is relentless worries and mental chatter. This inability to relax their mind, be present and feel at peace, impacts not only on their mental health and happiness, but also their ability to maintain a healthy diet, exercise regime, sleep pattern and work life. So I understand why so many people want to address this once and for all!
In the most part, worrying comes from a place of fear. You worry because – in short – you think you have to. Most worries are stuck in your mind because you’re scared of what will happen if you choose to let it go. Perhaps you feel you’ll lose control of where you’re going. Or you feel the fear is protecting you from some kind of threat. When you take time to go deeper and reflect on where those worries came from, you’ll find you CAN actually get by safely and successfully in life without the need to let those worries take charge.
Plus, you know it’s doing your health and your happiness no good, so its time to make a change!
Lucky for you, this change is easier than you might think. Here are 3 steps to reducing worries and bringing peace to your life.
Step 1 – Get out of your head.
Our minds are funny things. They can solve the most complex of mathematical problems… but they can also create them! Our minds are designed to find problems and solve them, which is useful for detecting dangers or threats and devising a survival plan. But when your mind is in problem-seeking overdrive because you’re speeding through your busy days in a state of fight or flight from the stress and demands of your life, you end up picking on every ‘potential’ problem you can find. This creates an overwhelm of worries that just won’t budge.
The best way to get out of problem solving mode and lose the worries is to come into a parasympathetic state (relaxation state) by doing some deep belly breathing. This simple technique is the fastest proven way to relax the mind and body and restore balance. And even better than simply breathing is coupling this technique with reconnecting to your body – i.e., yoga. During your yoga practice, your body escapes from ‘danger-mode’ and enters the parasympathetic state, switching off the need to find more threats. Yoga gets you out of your head and into your body, while also training your ‘focus’ muscle so you can become better at focusing on the ideas or thoughts you want to (rather than feeling a slave to the thoughts that don’t serve you). Learn more about yoga here.
Step 2 – Is it in your control?
The most important thing to do whenever you find yourself worrying and getting anxious is to determine whether what you’re worrying about is actually in your control or not.
I notice so many people worrying about things that are out of their control. In fact, they’re often worrying about the actions and decisions of other people, which isn’t even their responsibility or right to control. Situations will often play out in life whether you worry or not. And usually, it’s the worrying that will attract more bad things because of your reaction or inaction spawned by the worry. So your best bet is to chill out while doing whatever is in your control to do.
Worrying about things not in your control is simply your imagination used poorly. In fact, this sentence became my mantra a couple of years ago when I realised I grew up worrying about everything! And low and behold… I cured my need to worry about useless things. Hurray!
Want to do the same for yourself?
If worrying about everything and anything is driving you nuts, start saying to yourself every morning while you take a few deep breaths, “Worry is the imagination used poorly”.
If you want to elaborate, you can add onto this, “I choose to take action on the things that are IN my control, and free myself from worrying about things that are NOT in my control”.
Step 3 – Support network.
Knowing that someone always has your back is an effective way to reduce your fear-state that causes those worries to hang around and grow. Connecting with others and creating deep relationships where you trust the other person gives you comfort and strength – acting as a kind of safety net to give you greater confidence and sense of security.
Take time to reflect on the people in your life whom you can trust and rely on. And if you can’t come up with at least 5 right away, then your job is to go away and strengthen relationships with people you feel will lift you up and have your back in tough times. Then be proactive about spending time with these people on a regular basis. I call these people ‘Uplifters’; those who will support you enough to help you feel you no longer need to worry so much.
This is by far the most fun and loving method of bringing peace to your life! :-)
I recall a girl from one of my workplace programs about 18 months ago who moved to Sydney from a country town with her boyfriend. She had broken up with her boyfriend about 6 months before she did my program. During the program, she told me she suffered chronic anxiety which affected her work and her mental health. In her consultation, we began to realise that not having anyone close to her that she could truly count on meant she would hold in all her stresses and worries from her work day (the worries she used to let out when she connected with her partner or family, or simply chose not to worry about because her focus and priority was on other things). She had to proactively go and create an Uplifter Network and once she did, her anxiety reduced to practically nil!
If you’ve already identified that worrying is holding you back from living life fully and feeling at peace, follow these 3 simple steps and I GUARANTEE you’ll improve your health!
Like anything you want to heal, it is also beneficial addressing the root cause. That means taking time to reflect on where that worry has come from and why its handing around – i.e, what is this fear and how can we remove it once and for all? If you feel you’re at a stage where you need help doing this, get in touch by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Free “Worry Less, Do More” Workshop
If your workplace needs help getting in control of their mental chatter, regaining focus and clarity and reducing mental health concerns, you can take advantage of our FREE Lunch-time workshop for you and your colleagues. We’ll dive deeper into the above steps and learn a few more, while giving you an opportunity to ask me questions face to face.
This workshop is only available for the next couple of months and there are only a couple of spots left due its enormous success amongst my corporate clients! So if you want to learn more, email me at email@example.com before 10th March and I will send you more information.
All the best,